Heart Surgery

I don't even know how to begin.  Brax is having open heart surgery exactly a week from today.  He has a very common heart defect so I am grateful that it is a very simple straightforward surgery, but still, my baby is having open heart surgery!

Brax has a hole in his heart called vsd which we knew about when I was pregnant.  The hole is large enough that it will not close on its own.  We are thankful he hasn't been too symptomatic before surgery.  His weight gain has been slow, but nothing too major with lack of eating until the past week.  If they did not patch the hole, he would have difficulty feeding and growing.  I am so ready to see him eat well again.  I hope he does okay this week before the surgery and stays hydrated.  Being a mommy is so stressful right now!  We feel as though we are in very good hands with our cardiologist and heart surgeon.

I know God will be with him the entire time.  I do have a few St. John of God cards and medallions.  I hung one in his crib and carry one with me.  He is the patron saint for heart patients.  I feel this is also a sign since my grandpa's name was John.  I know Brax will also have all his angels in heaven watching out for him.

I am nervous and scared because I can't imagine my life without him.  I am glad the surgery has such good success rates.  I just want the surgery to be over and to be back with Brax in the recovery room.  It will be so hard to see him with all the tubes and lines.  I am glad babies recover so quickly compared to adults.  Also, I am glad he won't remember any of this.  I just hope he never is in too much pain.

Be strong Brax!  We will be thinking of you and praying for you the entire time.  We will be waiting for you and will be with you as soon as we can and stay with you the entire time you are in the hospital.  When it's all over, I promise we will have a great fun summer together!  We love you!